If you hadn’t guessed from my last post, I’ve been having a few pre-full-moon-coniptions about where I’m headed in this life and who I am and all that super heavy stuff that some part of me wishes that I would keep to myself instead of continually vomiting out on social media like a crazy cat. (I promise, I’m utterly normal and boring and suburban in my real life, believe me.)
I started to ask questions about why I’m spending so much of my spare time sewing, crocheting and making things to sell. I wondered why I was putting so much effort into thinking about my etsy store, markets, blah blah. I wondered why I cared so much about food and what we ate. I wondered why I spent so much time planning meals and cooking when I could be doing other things. I wondered why I didn’t do something with my time that earned more money or made me seem more important (ha!).
Truth is, I don’t have a degree and career background in disability and community development because I like money. I was lead in that direction because I like people and I like connecting people and I like helping to make the world a better place. It is just something I like so I went with it.
Same goes for creativity. I like making things. I like cooking. I get a kick out of recycling materials and watching something appear out of an old jumper or a sheet. I like cooking and experimenting in the kitchen. I like feeding people. I like writing about it sometimes. And it sounds crazy but I think all the sewing and following patterns and experimenting I have done over the last few years has made me a better cook. Honest! But most of all I just love thinking things up and cutting and playing with fabrics and stirring and sipping and seeing my girls running around in pants made from their daddy’s t-shirts and hats hooked by my own two hands with food I’ve cooked spilled down their fronts.
I have never been someone who does something because it is going to get me a lot of money. I can’t pretend to like things that I don’t. I can’t go to a job or engage in activities that I don’t feel passionate about and keep a smile on my face. I’m a sulker and I would certainly complain a lot if I tried to make myself do that.
There you have it. I like people and I like making things. I like food and I like cooking. They are a few of the things that make me happy outside of mothering. So I will keep on keeping on. I will stitch and cook and stir and snip and hook (of the crochet variety). I will eat food and think about it. I will get super annoyed when I go to the supermarket and they are kicking independent brands off the shelf. I will make as many ethical choices as I can. I will go back to work some time in the new year and I will work in a job that makes me happy because it makes other people happy. I will sell some things and not worry that I didn’t get paid adequately for the time I put into it.
Because doing things that make you happy are worth a lot more than money. But you knew that already, right?