oh so tired

I miss you when I’m not here, little blog.

I think of you often. Sometimes I thread words together along tiny lines in my head. Sometimes I think I should write them down. I mainly don’t. I think: that is such a great sentence, I totally won’t forget it. Then it floats away and the memory of each word becomes faint and distant.

So here I am, sleeping baby in left arm, typing with right hand. Looking out from the couch at a sea of dishes in the kitchen. Thinking about the stewed apple and cream I wanted to make for my dessert. I may be able to type relatively well one-handed but unfortunately for me I can’t cut up an apple. In the spirit of honesty I will admit to you that in my one-handed frustration I may have had a few spoonfuls of cream straight from the tub.

I am so very tired, little blog. This baby that I continually come to tell you about is not much of a sleeper and it has me in all manner of muddles.

She has taken to bottle feeding like a… hmm can’t think of the saying, the only thing coming to mind is “like a dog on heat” and I think that is highly inappropriate… [so insert appropriate line here, reader]. What I mean to say is that she really likes the bottle. It’s peaceful and lovely compared to breastfeeding and I’ve slowly come around to our decision. I can even go so far as to say I’m so happy we took this path. She likes food too, amazing as I didn’t predict this. All of these things had this mother fooled. You see, I thought that once she started feeding and eating happily and well, the sleep thing would just fall into place.

What is this baby trying to do to me?!

Not only is she an unsettled sleeper overnight, but she has now decided that day sleeps aren’t all that much chop either. In the last fortnight she has had two (TWO) naps longer than 40 minutes. Today she had two sleeps (out of the five times I attempted to get her to sleep). One was a 30 minute nap, the second 40 minutes. That was it. At seven months old I really think it would be beneficial for everyone involved if she had a little more than that? It’s 9.30pm now. Between 7pm and now she has gone to sleep and woken four times. So here I sit, enjoying the cuddle time very much but worrying and scheming and thinking about how to get her to sleep for longer. Because all those good things like growth and healing and dreams happen when you sleep, right?

I’m at a loose end people.

Tell me, do your babies sleep? Do you rock them, do you let them cry? Do you wear them in a sling, do you take them for a drive, do you pat them? Or do you just put them in their cots to have them drift off into peaceful slumber like some of my friends… (grrrr!)

I would love some good advice.

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5 thoughts on “oh so tired

  1. Dear friend and mama that I feel I know just by reading this post. You are not alone. I will say it again. YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. I too am a tired mom and my “baby” is 3. Not to discourage. My Savannah had short naps (40min ….maybe if I was lucky) I tried…. oh I tried sooo hard to get her to sleep as the books were tell me to. I tried not to feed her till she would pass out, I tried letting her cry, I tried to “start as I mean to go” and it all ended up in a HUGE mess of a ME. Me stressing over how and where and when she would sleep and how little sleep i was getting contributed to my PPD and I was a MESS of a mom. So i embraced the rocking, the co-sleeping, the napping with my toddler when she got older and ignored the dishes that needed to be done, the floors that needed cleaning and the dessert that i felt I should have been preparing. I started being kind to me and doing whatever it took for us all to sleep – and at almost 3 – we are still 3 in a Kingsize bed with a crib on the side (which i frequently end up sleeping in while my toddler and Hubby take up the bed) I still occassioinally rock her – when she is ill or has a hard time falling asleep and yes we all go to sleep with the white noise in the back ground. I hope that you will take comfort in the fact that you are not alone and many of us walk the days feeling and looking like the living dead. The books are not helpful and only put more pressure on us to bee all we can be and MORE. Its so hard. Do what you need to to survive is the only advise I can give and accept the fact that you haev a kid that doesnt sleep as well as YOU would like. Not every child can be sleep trained and even us adults have sleep props. BIG Giant hugs to you MotherWho. I hope sleep comes for you soon. excuse all the spelling errors – I am trying to get my brain out as quick as possible 🙂 I know you understand. xxxxxxxooooo

  2. I agree – You are not alone! My little on is 6 months and has a very similar pattern. I have no advice, but your last paragraph made me laugh – it is so close to being a Dr Seuss story 🙂

  3. I hate to say it but I think some babies are just wired for less sleep. Mine was the same at that age…. 20 min naps were standard, 40 mins tops with resettling often required. And that is after maybe an hour of trying to get him to sleep! At nearly two he still needs lots of help to sleep and wakes at least twice overnight on a good night. We cosleep, and I wore him until he got too big. The car rarely fails for naps. He is also very developed in his language and I think, has a brain that just won’t stop. Sorry that is not particularly useful, I wish I had some magical advice to help but I think to some extent it is just hardwired. Oh and I meant to say about your decision, I feel your journey so closely as I struggled enormously with breastfeeding … It consumed me and was terribly destructive. Good on you for giving your all to the hardest job there is. Hang in there! xx

  4. I’m sorry, it’s hard enough when night sleep isn’t that great but when naps are short too it’s a double whammy! I don’t know if you have ever been to the Baby Whisperer message boards, but this is the FAQ’s about naps (look for the topics on short naps): http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=459f21a818f600d128db48af192a683e&board=86.0 It’s quite normal for most babies to go through the phase of development where short naps rule! 😉 HTH

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