one month today

It was deep in the night when I met you for the first time, one month ago today. We had a bit of a false start but once you decided you were really ready it only took 4 hours before you were in my arms. I wondered how I could have enough love to share between two children, knowing that it must be possible, and it certainly is. Your skin was so warm, glowing and soft in that moment. Everyone had cups of tea afterwards, we sat around talking about you, midwifery, the state of things, life. The night and day following felt foggy, like some strange split in time, I can still find the feeling of it and experience it again. Your big sister blew out a candle for you, Nanny brought a birthday cake. We ate lots of food and lay around, laughing, dozing. We stayed that way for over a week.

This week your face and spirit is opening up to the world. We are seeing you for the first time. You are finding our gaze and holding it, you’re smiling. Your favourite thing to look at is your sister, being silly and jumping around. I have a feeling that is not going to change for a long time. I am waking up too and slowly adjusting to our nocturnal cuddles in the dim light.

Our family feels full with you in it. It seems like we were just practicing at playing families before, now we are the real deal. Thank you for coming, we all love you so much.

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2 thoughts on “one month today

  1. That top photo takes my breath away. It is stunning. What a precious birth story you have to share – I am incredibly proud of you. It’s wonderful when babes open their eyes to their new world – as treasured as those first weeks are, a smile in return makes everything worth it. It’s amazing how one little person can slip into a family as if they were always meant to be there. I look at Lexie and can’t imagine my family without her. Enjoy getting to know little Saffie – you have a beautiful ‘real’ family xx

    • Thanks Kate, I know what you mean, it is like she has always been here, amazing. It’s amazing even though you know it is going to happen. Somehow when it does, it still blows you away. I feel very lucky to have the top photo, I didn’t get one like that last time and will treasure it forever. xxx

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