a ratty, ratty day

This was my house at 4.30pm today.Β And yes, for my new readers wondering what sort of brood I am hosting – I have one child.

ONE.

Isn’t it funny how days like these spiral into… oblivion [being dramatic].

Baby hasn’t been herself this week, and today I was reminded of those early mother’s group days where you do the session: How To Tell When Your Baby Is Sick. And you get told things like: He Or She Just Isn’t Himself Or Herself. Or, He Or She Has A Runny Nose. Or, He Or She Sleeps A Lot or Doesn’t Sleep Much. Things like that. Helpful things. But the point is, I was thinking about those sessions and how desperately I really wanted to know the answers. Like really, how DO you know when this little creature is unwell? Now it seems to come a lot more naturally, you just know when something isn’t right.

As the little one is Not Herself and Has A Runny Nose And A Cough it made me realise how much of a flow I did have to my days when she was Feeling Herself, even though I constantly tell myself that I am struggling to stay on top of things.

When your baby gets a bit older and you get to sleep all night once again, you get quite used to it, and yep – you quite enjoy it. I have been catapulted back into the Up And Down Throughout The Night and No Going To Sleepy At Bedtime days and I am cranky. CRANKY. Tomorrow will be one week of night time shenanigans and while I love a good cosy cuddle with my baby in the night, I’m also much more relaxed when we read a book and she goes to bed and we kiss goodnight and it’s all lovely and sleepy and we see each other again in the morning. The cosy cuddle in the night thing this week has also been more like a squirmy kick you in the stomach type cuddle which to be honest isn’t all that pleasant (surprise).

So is it any wonder that today Baby: only slept for one hour instead of her usual two and a half, wouldn’t let me go to the toilet without crying and/or following me there, wanted to do everything and anything that I gave any hint towards NOT wanting her to do (such as licking the rubbish bin and then playing the drums on it, sticking her hands in the toilet, going outside when we had to do things inside, going inside when we had to do things outside, wanting an orange when I was offering an apple, you get the picture), tipped her cup of milk all over my grandparent’s sideboard and all over her table, crayons, toys and the floor, drew all over the walls – twice, and then couldn’t sleep tonight until drifting off in Prince Charming’s arms when he got home from work at 10pm.

I tried everything to get her to sleep – gave the story time thing a few goes, more food, warm bottle of milk, lying on the couch with her, went for a walk with her in the dark and looked like a scary witch lady in my long skirt with Baby in the sling and a huge white muslin wrap tied around us both to ward off mozzies… hmmm, lying in the beanbag next to the cot, playing Angus and Julia Stone (her fave), umm… yep. Prince Charming arrived home from his longest day off the week to a frizzy haired frazzler (me) speaking jibberish and a baby jumping up and down in the cot moving from loud hysterical laughter to wailing and back again in a split second. Welcome home love!

We did have a few quiet moments of interlude. I filled up a terracotta bowl with water on the deck and she splashed around in that while I cooked on the BBQ. She had a little swing and we drew pictures together. But when you’re home alone, some days just do feel long. We’ll start fresh again tomorrow.

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2 thoughts on “a ratty, ratty day

  1. It sounds like being alone in it is the hardest part. Can you call for back-up? I don’t mean get someone else to do the work, but get someone else to be there with you? Raising babies needs to be done by a team!

  2. I totally agree Sarah. Being alone is definitely the hardest part of the entire culture of motherhood in our society, I think. Have had a good debrief with my aunty today and chat to my mum a lot too. It’s hard to focus when you’re IN the moment, the hours go by and you are so focussed on the situation you forget to reach outwards.

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