exhilaration

exhilarate |igˈziləˌrāt|verb (usu. be exhilarated)make (someone) feel very happy, animated, or elated : the children were exhilarated by a sense of purpose | [as adj. ] ( exhilarated) all this hustle and bustle makes me feel exhilarated | [as adj. ] ( exhilarating) riding was one of the most exhilarating experiences he knew.

Does anyone else find themselves overcome with exhilaration and excitement and an urgent sense of I-Have-To-Change-My-Life-Right-Now-By-Doing [such-and-such] when reading blogs/twitter/facebook/other? I find myself logging on to write a new entry on my own blog. Instead of going straight to ‘New Post’ I read my subscriptions. I follow lots of different blogs. Sometimes I click on link after link until I have more than twenty tabs open. I get so excited by projects and things to do and see that I become completely overwhelmed. Which one first? How to fit it all in? How to get it right? Gee, that person really has it sussed! Why can’t I be more like that? What would it take? 

Yes, me!

Me who preaches living a slow life and taking things step by step, one thing at a time.

I find it easy to slowly act out each day physically, most of the time. But to slow my thoughts and practice mindfulness is a battle I am challenged with each and every day.

I read and I click and I read and I click and I open and I close and I tweet and I click and I think and I read and I… Before long half an hour has passed, then an hour, then two, then the baby is awake and my mind is full of other people’s thoughts and rhythms and recipes and ideas of exactly what my life needs to look like to be the perfect-rhythmic-slow-happy-family-life and why it isn’t perfect just the way it is.

Stop.

Breathe.

Relax.

My life is exactly what it needs to be, right now.

I can take ideas from other people’s blogs.

I can write down recipes and maybe even try them sometime, if I want.

I can save projects in my bookmarks and refer back to them when the time is right.

I can find inspiration in other’s rhythms and daily comings and goings.

At the end of the day, though, here I am. Immersed in my own life. Surrounded by my own family. Doing my own thing. Which is, whatever it might be right now, today, in this moment.

Right now, I am away from home. With my family. Baby is asleep. Prince Charming has found himself in a rare moment of relaxation on the couch, watching the AFL grandfinal [snore]. I’m on the other couch, looking out the window, trying not to watch the AFL grandfinal. It’s snowing. The mist is so deep that I can see one tree next to the balcony, and beyond that… nothing. I know that a huge mountain range fills the space beyond the mist and sits, day in, day out in quiet, majestic solitude. Every now and then I can hear big chunks of melting snow falling from the roof.

Ah.

There we go, found myself.

But one last little note… oh – come on, let me! Just to indulge my click-happy self, ok? I’ve been reading Unplugged Sunday lately. I just read this post by the writer of Luna Pacifica, who I mentioned a while ago. I think some seasonal journal writing might help curb my link-clinking and keep me in the present, just a little bit more. And what better time to start, than the beginning of Spring… What do you think? Do you keep a journal? Does it say anything about the seasons?

There – now you can all go clickety-clack on my links instead of the other way around! I’m off to have another cup of tea!

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4 thoughts on “exhilaration

  1. I read your blog – buzz in often – and I get exhilarated too.. but cup of tea with honey now that sounds good. And seriously I always wish there were more hours in the day to visit others and absorb their ideas…so many good ideas

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