ten things i didn’t know

As we round the corner to the eighteen month milestone, I’ve been reflecting on so many things. Here are ten things I didn’t know, this time eighteen months ago:

1. How quickly time passes, and how much a baby changes in these early days, months and years. How quickly the soft wrinkly skin of a newborn turns to firm, rounded baby skin. How quickly a pair of blurry, unfocussed eyes become sharp and inquisitive. How quickly rosebud lips come together to form sounds and words. Sigh.

2. How many strong and real friendships I would make through this mothering gig.

3. How much joy a little life would bring. I mean, I knew it would be good, but I never imagined how RIGHT and how joyous each day would be, despite hiccups.

4. Blogs. I had no idea what a ‘blog’ was eighteen months ago. And I am supposedly Gen Y! Go ahead, laugh!

5. The weight of being a parent. I could never truly imagine the heavy feeling that comes with being a parent before I had my own baby. The feeling that makes you want to get everything right, that makes you worry about what-ifs, that keeps you awake at night craning to hear your little one breathing.

6. I didn’t know I would adapt to this new life so well. I didn’t know that I would happily move into a slower life, based more closely to home, without a blink of an eye. It was something that worried me before I had a baby – what I would ‘miss out’ on. The short answer to that concern is – absolutely nothing! Nothing that is better than what I have gained.

7. That I have an intense interest in food and health and wellbeing. Until that first teaspoon of food entered my baby’s mouth, I didn’t know that.

8. That I am passionate about women’s choices during pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Until being pregnant and giving birth myself, I had no – and I mean no – idea about the ‘options’ you have during this time and how ill-informed our culture is on so many levels.

9. How much I love my husband, parenting partner and best friend. What a guy! Having a baby has opened my eyes to the work that a parenting relationship takes. Constant discussion, shifting, compromising, reading, thought. To pick the right person to enter this venture with is essential! I count myself as very lucky.

10. I was going to write – that this path couldn’t be more right for me. But I think I knew that well before having a baby. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, this journey has just showed me the type of mother and person I strive to be. I didn’t know that having a baby would open my heart to my truest self.

I love you Baby.

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9 thoughts on “ten things i didn’t know

  1. Yes, I can also agree to so many of those. That heaviness is hard to describe but it’s intensity is felt for each child. Having kids changes you so much. I hardly remember the first part of our marriage before kids. And I too had a steep learning curve about childbirth and gradually, food.

  2. You really don’t feel like you’re missing out? I salute you! I miss reading the weekend papers, going out on weekends without weeks of planning, leaving work whenever I’m ready to, taking a class, not spending weekends washing clothes, not sharing everything I eat, long dates with friends, reading a book undisturbed, not feeling guilty for spending time away from the kids, having time for a haircut, putting my feet up on holidays, etc. There are things I have gained, and things I’ve lost. That’s the truth for me anyway.

    • Don’t forget you are ahead of me in the family game Sar! With just one bub it is much easier to do all those things, albeit not to the same luxurious degree as before! Ask me again in a few years and maybe my answer will be different… but for now I don’t feel like I am missing out. I hope you manage to find a balance love xo

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