In nearly a year of writing this blog I have only written one post regarding poo. I figure I’ve done well and feel almost like I have gathered bonus points to enable me to write a really long winded and detailed post about the ins and outs of Baby’s poo.
Food. Food and poo really don’t mix, do they? The more food Baby is introduced to, the worse the Poo Situation is getting. Can someone tell me when this is going to end? And answers like ‘when she is out of nappies’ are really not what I am looking for. I suppose it does make sense. You eat, it gurgles around, it comes out… But really, the smell? The spread? (Mummies changing nappies know what I am talking about.)
Breastfeeding poo was a dream compared to this. I find myself standing, motionless at the end of the change table, staring down at the hideous monstrosity lurking in Baby’s nappy. I daydream about the time when, back in the day, I would open her nappy to find a smooth creamy brown puddle, not what you would describe as having a pleasant scent, but certainly not the gag worthy lump that awaits me today. Baby would lie still and patient and I would tidy her up and we’d be on our way. Those were the days.
Mum sent me a text me to ask how my day was going. This is what I sent her in reply:
Don’t be alarmed peeps, it’s a dog treat. But in saying that, if I had taken a picture of the real horror (which I just wouldn’t do, that would be awful and wrong), this picture would look like a pile of daisies in comparison.
I am always just so surprised at the colours, the textures. The places it manages to get to. Up the back? No problem! In between every crease and crevice imaginable? Easy done! Ensure little hands begin to grab and touch unsightly places before Mummy has the chance to reach for the wipe? Tick!
And the abundance! You’d think once a day would be enough? No, not my Baby. She has found something she really excels at, and is going all out to prove just how good she is at this particular task.
It just rubs salt in the wound when you use cloth nappies. Shouldn’t there be some sort of poo reward system for cloth nappy users? I have finally found some good biodegradable nappy liners so that has eased the distress somewhat. I just love the line on their website: “each liner is 19cm x 28cm meaning they are large enough to catch those unexpected poo explosions.”
In my case we can delete the word unexpected.