Tales of a Toilet

Dear Toilet,

As you know, Mother’s Group is at our house tomorrow. The timer has finished, the clock has stopped. If it doesn’t go well, there’s nothing we can do about it now.

We spent a lot of time together today, you and me. Who knew how dirty you could get down there? I scrubbed and I polished and I sprayed fancy sprays. I mopped and I vacuumed and I wiped. It was all going so well, I was almost even enjoying getting to know you better. But alas, the fun had to come to an end. And come to an end it did. I was on my hands and knees, Cinderella style thank you, toilet brush in hand – you saw me. We were getting on so well, you and I, singing away, sparrows and big eyed baby deer, etc. But then you had to go and do what you did. You just had to ruin it. When I saw your water splashing up, up, up, out of your bowl and into the air I knew, I just knew what was going to happen next but I didn’t have time to close my mouth. And it’s safe to say your water isn’t exactly the Evian of toilet waters.

Although we’re no longer on talking terms, I just wanted to wish you well for tomorrow. If these mamas are the non-weeing type, god help us. I’ll be topping up tea and offerring water and doing anything I can to ensure those ladies take a trip in to see you, looking your finest. I’m sure they won’t disappoint us.

Good luck and, I’ll see you soon x

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One thought on “Tales of a Toilet

  1. I can’t believe you got toilet water in your mouth! did you wash it out a gazillion times?i hope mother’s group were impressed with what i’m sure was a sparking clean house! x

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