You know when your baby starts crying and you’re not sure if she’s hungry or tired? Guess what? There’s an app for that. Yup, you can record sleep, nappy changes, breastfeeds, eating, baths, playtime… Anything ‘baby’. In fact, it’s called Total Baby.
I am currently about five days into my Total Baby Ban. I knew it was time to have a break from the app for a few reasons:
1. My husband (who has requested to be referred to on this blog as Prince Charming – after I denied his requests of Randy and King) commented on the amount of time I was spending on my iPhone, to which I was very quick to reply, ‘So what? You like supercoach right? You’re always on supercoach! Leave me alone!’ all the while clutching my iPhone to my chest and displaying a face similar to Bilbo Baggins when Gandalf tries to take The Ring back.
2. Baby was crying and instead of rushing to her aid I ran around muttering ‘where’s my phone’ so it could tell me if she was hungry or tired.
3. I started calling nappies ‘diapers’ because that’s what Total Baby calls them.
4. I could tell you down to the second how long it had been since baby’s last bath.
5. I was continually asking Prince Charming for detailed descriptions of baby’s nappies so I could record it on Total Baby (eg. BM – bowel movement, with note spaces for consistency and amount, W – wet, Dry – dry, etc). This became slightly awkward if we were out in public.
6. It was just making me feel weird.
So 5 days in I’ve begun to notice some things about Baby (when I can see her past the tick in my eye that has developed since trying to kick Total Baby to the curb). Everything she does relies solely on instinct and millions of years of evolution. For instance I read somewhere (probably on google) that the grasping reflex that comes naturally to babies is an age old reflex from when us mamas used to have fur on our chests and babies had to hold on. Pity I had my chest waxed as all Baby’s hard work just goes to waste.
She just really is a stone-age bub. She looks at me with enormous eyes and looks so cute when she cries that it just forces me to do something, anything! (See I do have some instints left). Baby just does everything she’s meant to do. Meanwhile her super sonic mama is running around relying on iPhone apps, google and Dr Phil to tell her what to do. This has got to stop! I feel so guilty and it’s time I connected with my inner-mum. No more Total Baby. No more google. No more Dr Phil! I can’t promise no more iPhone though because I’m in the middle of 4 games of scrabble on Words with Friends and it wouldn’t be friendly of me to quit in the middle of a game, no, that would just be plain rude.