Who would have thought there were so many conversations to be had about poo? I was at Mother’s Group this morning, and, well, poo certainly dominated the conversation. That awkward thing happened to me. That inevitable thing that happens when you’re hanging out with humans and babies at the same time, in the same room. I was telling a story about the weird lady who works at the pet shop. I got to the climax of the story: ‘And then she said-‘ when I was interrupted by an enormous, bellowing, wet sounding fart coming from the second smallest baby in the room. Of course everyone stopped to giggle and laugh and swoon over the second smallest, largest farting baby in the room. I stopped and joined in, smiling and cooing, then went to continue my story: ‘And then she said-‘… another enormous eruption. Once again everyone stopped and smiled. I tried to continue: ‘And then she said- hm, yeah, oh how cute.’ I gave up and sat down with Baby on the couch feeling embarrassed.
My story about Weird Pet Shop Lady was forgotten and the conversation quickly turned to something much more interesting – poo. How often does your baby poo? What’s the texture of the poo? The colour of the poo? The odour of the poo? The amount of poo? The baby’s facial expression when he/she is trying to poo? The sound the baby makes when he/she is doing the poo? How quickly they want the nappy changed once it’s full of poo?
Is this really what my life has become? Poo? But yes, there I was sitting on the edge of my seat, eyebrows poised, eagerly awaiting someone to make eye contact with me so that I could tell everyone all the ins, and outs of Baby’s poo and how it doesn’t smell so bad but she definitely wants her nappy changed quick smart once it’s there. And how she poos every day but there isn’t really a schedule to it. And it’s really runny and she gets this really funny look on her face when she is doing the poo and she can even do it while she’s breastfeeding because she really is the most clever baby and it gets stuck in all the fat creases on her chubby legs and it’s just all so cute and lovely.